When the Child Becomes the Parent

As we age, caregiving requirements can often result in an role reversal of the parent-child relationship – one where the child begins parenting the parent. One day we find ourselves caring for parents who are as dependent on us as we were on them during our childhood. This can be emotionally challenging for the elderly parent as well as the adult child.

For the senior parent, it’s common to have feelings of embarrassment, frustration and depression when they are forced to rely on a grown child for care. Loss of independence and sense of helplessness can lead to feelings of despair, and sometimes resentment.

Adult children may resent having to take on full time or part time caregiving.  There is no pay, but it’s as strenuous as any other job that you may undertake. Many grown children feel a sense of loss as they witness the deterioration of a once  vibrant parent that they previously depended on in their younger days. Because the relationship between you and your parent has changed, you may need to explore new ways of expressing love and receiving love that are appropriate to you both. The following are a few quick tips on helping to keep a loving relationship:

• Use of affirmative words.Say, “I love you” regularly, and share compliments with your loved one daily. Be careful not to overdo this, as it can be concieved as condescending if over applied.

• Physical touch.  If your parent is the touchy type, they will feel loved if you make it a habit to give hugs regularly.

• Gifts.  Gift giving shows the recipient that you care for them, and that you are willing to sacrifice in order to make them happy. Make sure not to miss a birthday, anniversary, or other important event as they could take this as a sign of being unloved.

• Quality time.  Everyone appreciates moments when they have your undivided attention, being together enjoying each others company without distractions. If this is important to your parent, set aside time each week to spend just with them, and don’t look at it as caregiving. Turn off your smart-phone, computer, TV, etc, and get together with your parent in a quiet room or over the dinner table for one-on-one time.

Bringing useful news to educate our clients is one more way that Home Helpers has been making life easier for over a decade.  Call us today at 704-909-7958.  And as always, you can find us on our website,  Facebook and Google+!